September 27, 2008
Scared and Confused With My Husbands Tantrums?
My husband of 16yrs says I treat our 5 dogs better than I treat him. He personally picked and bought 3, Boston Terrier, Old English Bull and English Bull.fhe Boston had a stroke 2 days ago. He is a 16yr old Boston Terrier.
The other 2 were rescued, a Chinese Pug and a Chiwienie
My husband is working, I'm not. I have not worked since the end of May of this year. He is 67 and I'm 59.
He is very angry that I am not working. I'm on a sub list for teacher's aide for County Schools and he is a sub teacher for the same county. Every day he is working.
When he gets angry with me he says that I'm gonna have to give up my dogs and move out of this house. I'm also accused of marrying him for his money.
My defense is is that I have worked all my life. Now I'm on disability for Major Depression, Progressive Degenerative Discs and Neuropathy. Needless to say I have some struggles each day, especially if I leave home. He has witnessed my struggles and says it really is my fault. I should have known many years ago that I had Major Depression. Not knowing anything of what was going on with my body, I trusted my docs. Symptoms I presented were severe pain and insomnia, I was given strong drugs which I took. My husband scolded me for being a drug addict.
I'd just like to have advice as to how to respond.
Wow, your husband is not supportive toward you at all. Sounds like he has childish tantrums when he gets angry. Ignore him and get on with your life. He cannot throw you out of the house so enjoy your life as you see fit
Filed under Boston Terrier Rescue by admin
Comments on Scared and Confused With My Husbands Tantrums? »
You need to see a marriage counselor. Your husband's behavior is abusive. He may change his tune if you threaten to divorce him and get most of his money.
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It appears that your husband is entering his second childhood, he is jealous that you get to stay home and he has to work. It also appears that he wants to control everything you do. I think he has many more issues than you do. He is the one that should be seeking counseling before he pushes you away and he finds himself alone in his aging life. Good luck.
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Couples counseling right away…I too have those symptoms…I have Fibromyalgia….my husband did not get it either we went to see someone and things are better now…as for the dogs stop….they are replacing your husband and costing money….I only work part time because of my illness and try very hard to not take a lot of drugs because they can really screw up your life…I figure a little pain is worth the being able to connect with my husband…so you two go see someone and thin out those dogs…that is what I would suggest…oh yeah one other thing…see a MD about your symptoms they sound very similar to mine and once we figured it all out I was better off…good luck
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It sounds like a difficult time for both of you. It is probably not the first time you have struggled. That is the way life is. Hang in there…take care of yourself, your husband and then the dogs. It will work out…it has in the past.
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that's terrible
I know that with your med problems you think it is not possible, but I say leave him. You don't deserve to be mistreated. Sue for divorce and take half of every thing and live the rest of your life in peace.
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Huge issues that can't be unpacked in such a forum. But I do think you should read 'Depression' by Margaret Rowe (2003). Both of you should. Also, you have to see his anger as rooted in fear - your weakness, illness, dependency, and mortality is scary for him. I am not saying that justifies his pig-headed behaviour, but it may explain some of it. Accepting someone's mental and physical disabilities is very difficult, probably the ultimate act of love that most people - because of our fears about death - are not capable of doing. He wants you to be energetic and inspired, so that he can continue to believe that the world is a vibrant place. What's needed is for you to get yourself as well as you can, not necessarily go back to work, but do as much exercise, eat as well, get as much outside support and positive people around you as possible, and try to engage in some new hobbies besides your dogs, some with your husband if possible. Then, once you are in a good place, then look at the relationship again.
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This man has issues of bitterness and anger, is he aware that depression is a disease? Not a fun one either. Also if he is a sub teacher how could you have possibly married him for his money? He is no Donald Trump, nor will he ever be, but that's beside the point. At the age of 67 theirs very little hope that he will change now, so you may have to just make the best of it? Or you can leave? How do you respond to a man such as this? I really don't have the answer, but I can tell you that you have the ability to make things as mellow and stressfree as possible in your own mind, think positive and just be as upbeat as you can.
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Wow, your husband is not supportive toward you at all. Sounds like he has childish tantrums when he gets angry. Ignore him and get on with your life. He cannot throw you out of the house so enjoy your life as you see fit
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Divorce him you dont need any more stress in your life, he should be more sympathetic w/ you, he seems to not care.
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Your husband sounds like a jerk and he is definitely being abusive to you in your time of need. He might be the underlying reason for all your health problems. Divorce him and take half the house and the dogs too. Tell him it's over and your getting a lawyer. See if that doesn't make him change his tune.
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